Pennatus Somnium
by Kryssa's flute
Summary: The line between dreams and reality fades as he reaches the last days of his life.He ran as if to outrun memories. He ran as if to outrun himself, and the helplessness that he so often fought against.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the song 100 Years by Five for Fighting.

_Pennatus_ _Somnium_

He woke in the middle of the forest, the nighttime speckled with moon and starlight. It was a lovely place; surrounded by trees so tall they blocked the sky from view. It was so quiet, so peaceful that he was almost apprehensive in such an innocent looking place. But in this little meadow, similar to the place where Iruka-sensei had given him his first _hitai-ate_, he suddenly felt more alive than he had in a long while.

He stood up and stretched, feeling his fifteen year old body move with mercury-like fluidity. He did flips, kicks, punches; silly little moves that warmed his chilled form and performed with undeniable beauty and perfection. He wanted to shout and cheer at his own small accomplishments and playful exercises, and brag like hell to the first person he came across.

And then it hit him; what was wrong with this place. He looked around, and frowned when he saw how terribly alone he was. It was a feeling he hated as a child, and hated more as a young adult. He needed people to feel truly alive.

He prayed for his friends to come, to see him one last time. For some reason, as unfathomable as the sea, he knew he had been away from them for too long. Whether by his choice or theirs, it made no difference. For all he could tell, they were as far away as another world.

But he returned, traversing for so long and so far, and hoped they would too.

**I'm fifteen for a moment**

**Caught in between ten and twenty**

**And I'm just dreaming**

**Counting the ways to where you are**

**I'm twenty two for a moment**

**And she feels better than ever**

**And we're on fire**

**Making our way back from Mars**

They came like ghosts from the forest, as if born from the shadows of the leaves.

He smiled, sensing their arrival from miles away. He could smell their unique scents, a talent enhanced by the Kyuubi within his body. He could hear their hearts beating a gentle tempo against his own racing pulse. All were silent; so well trained in the shinobi arts that had he been less familiar with them, he'd have mistaken their movements for a gentle, stray breeze. But he knew their presence like his own. Each had a particular aura, intimate and comforting to his sometimes-chaotic soul.

The first to come was Lee, leading Neji and Tenten down from the treetops. He didn't hesitate; dashing forward to hug them all, not bothering to question why they looked so young when it had obviously been many years since they'd last seen one another. He was just so fucking glad to feel the embraces being returned with affection, even from the normally stoic Hyuuga genius, that he couldn't make himself care.

He had no time to be surprised by such openness. He watched the Ino-Shika-Cho trio melt into the meadow, and as before, hugs were shared and quiet smiles were gifted. He saw Kiba jumping into view, with Shino following closely behind. In another time, he'd have felt awkward sharing friendly back-slaps with them, but it was all right. For some reason, everything was all right now.

When Sasuke and Sakura came, he couldn't stop himself. He tackled them; running full-tilt into the duo so hard that all three went rolling along the field's floor, they took the beating with quiet laughter and smiles. He didn't want to let go. It had been too long since he'd been able to see them, but they pushed him up and pointed up.

And then he saw Hinata, shyly standing on one of the higher branches and almost hiding from eyesight. Plucking up her courage so as to see the boy she always cared about, she leapt forward.

He didn't even let her feet touch the ground, jumping up and clutching her warm, small form to his own. She didn't hesitate to kiss him, a chaste brushing of lips to his own.

It lasted a moment.

It lasted a lifetime.

When it ended and he tried to speak, she put a finger over his lips. She kissed him again, telling him that she understood his heart. She understood why it took so long for him to come.

She always knew him best.

He winked at her and set her down, then turned to the others. No words were spoken; nothing shared but a touch, looks, and companionship. And because he had always been the leader, he was the first to move. He turned towards the east, where the brightest stars were shining and the moon stood in the sky, and began to run.

**Fifteen there's still time for you**

**Time to buy and time to lose**

**Fifteen there's never a wish better than this**

**When you've only got a hundred years to live**

They ran together, still in silence but not in quiet. He could hear their thoughts, their voices in his heart. So much was shared as they jumped through the trees, ran across the forest floor, and danced over the world. It had been so long since they had the time to come out and play. Play; for a young man of thirty, he never used that word much anymore. A shame, really, since he was such a playful person at heart.

He looked to his left. Hinata was beautiful and unearthly, bathed in white each time she passed a patch of exposed nightlight. White, as if in a shinobi wedding kimono. For a second, he could see her in it again, and felt a swell of pride as he remembered becoming her husband.

But no, she wasn't in white – it was just a trick of the confetti moonlight. Rather, she was pregnant; the shadows kept her rounded curves easily hidden. She shouldn't be able to run with him like this; he'd been told (more like chastised!) on multiple occasions how difficult it is for a woman to _walk_ when pregnant, but she was keeping up perfectly fine. Oddly enough, when he looked at Sakura, Ino, Temari – she must have joined Shikamaru sometime during their run through the forest – and Tenten… all of them were pregnant too.

He did not question this; only knew that it was right. And there would be two more children for Hinata and himself after this one.

He stumbled for a moment, his foot catching on a large branch, and grabbed the brim of the Hokage's tri-cornered hat as it fell from his forehead. The one thing he didn't like about the Hokage's outfit was how the damn hat never stayed in place. Oh, of course it looked _perfect_ on Tsunade-baa-chan and the Old Man Hokage, but not for him! Whenever he wore it for special occasions, such as chuunin exams or whatnot, it always fell sideways or backwards or too far forward. Hinata would giggle and adjust it, saying that his wild spiky hair was too much for the poor hat.

She reached over now and fixed it with one hand, the other holding the hand of their son. Behind them, two little girls were keeping perfect time with their parents. He smiled, looking around at the sheer number of shinobi – adults and children alike – running with them through the forest. Konoha was a thriving village, powerful and respected. Around him, the sound of sand rustling through the branches and snow and rain falling onto the leaves gave him joy. Friends from all around had come to join them.

All of a sudden, he could see nothing ahead. The way was blocked by a shadow, deeper than midnight, that drank all that came close. He knew he was running into danger, knew that if he stopped he would never move again. Yet he didn't hesitate a moment, still clutching Hinata's hand as the shadows closed in on them.

seconds

minutes

hours

days passed as he ran through the hungry blackness. He finally freed himself but not without difficulty. His body ached; pains in his head, arms, and chest that had not been there before nearly stole his consciousness. When he stopped to wait for the sensation to pass, he noticed that some of his companions were missing. He was unhappily sure he knew what that meant, but he still turned back to the shadowed trees and hoped for them to appear. He loved them – his friends, family, and fellow shinobi – and was willing to wait just a few more minutes.

Sasuke pointed up, and when he felt more than saw the clouds begin to cover the moon, he knew.

Accepting the fact that he couldn't wait any longer, he led the group onward and refused to look back.

**I'm thirty three for a moment**

**And still the man but you see I'm a they**

**A kid on the way**

**A family on my mind**

**I'm forty five for a moment**

**The sea is high**

**And I'm heading through a crisis**

**Chasing the years of my life**

It kept going like this. They would come across the shadowed areas, and though his heart beat with unspoken fear, he did not stop. He would do nothing but run headfirst into danger, feeling the darkness eat at his skin and spirit, and each time there would be fewer and fewer friends by his side. Yet he could always look back and see not only his family, but also the Uchiha clan. They would not leave him.

The most recent area they passed took Hinata and Sasuke.

He stopped the group for a long time, trying to fight the loss of those who meant everything to him. He looked up, desperately trying to see the night sky. The trees were casting a blanket overhead, but he kept trying to see beyond the gnarled branches. If he could just see the sky… he could believe that the light would return again.

But he couldn't and the only way to see the sky would be to keep running, to try and find open area. Though the energy was nearly gone from his body – anguish stealing his soul – he knew better than to stop for any longer.

He took Sakura's hand and they led the way.

**Fifteen there's still time for you**

**Time to buy and time to lose yourself**

**Within a morning star**

**Fifteen I'm all right with you**

**Fifteen there's never a wish better than this**

**When you've only got a hundred years to live**

He decided to stop and stretch his weary, aging body, and the others complied. He wasn't used to keeping up this strenuous pace for years now. He was older now, far over sixty, and after he finished stretching he saw that there was no one around. He gasped in shock – _they were just here! – _and once again felt sorrow rise up within his chest. The children were gone to be with their own families, and all his friends had left him.

He let out a howl of pain, one that could chill the blood of the dead.

It felt so damn unfair. How could he be the only one left? He was so alone when he was born, as he had grown up, and felt he'd be alone to the day he died. Even Hinata was gone, and she had promised never to leave him. He didn't really blame her, and he didn't blame the others. It just hurt _so goddamn much_; he loved people, he loved his village, and he simply wanted to be loved back.

He wanted to cry but couldn't. He had cried so much as a child and it felt as if his tears had dried up before they were loosed. He wanted to stop and lie down and stare through the trees, maybe find a friend in the darkness. But he knew he had to keep going, or else he'd never see them again. He'd be alone forever.

And so he ran.

He ran as if to outrun memories. He ran as if to outrun himself, and the helplessness that he so often fought against. When he couldn't run anymore, when his aged body began to give out and his eyesight went black, he realized he had returned to the meadow where it had all began.

**Half time goes by**

**Suddenly you're wise**

**Another blink of an eye**

**Sixty seven is gone**

**The sun is getting high**

**We're moving on**

An old man lay on his king-sized bed, drifting in and out of a drugged sleep. Ever since the assassination attempt a year ago, he'd never been the same. The poison had drained so much of his chakra, rampaged through his liver and kidneys, and nearly killed him on the spot. But he was strong – the strongest in the village – and he had survived the attack.

But now…

All the physicians and medical nin who came by to see him knew the truth, though they didn't dare say a word aloud. If he heard, he would proceed to get up and take a mission or two just to prove his capabilities or be contrary (really, both were equally likely). He was no fool – one didn't live to the ripe old age of ninety nine and not learn a few things in the process – but all his close friends and family knew that he'd never want to die by wasting away. He'd rather die fighting, saving the village and protecting the people.

But the doctors knew the Rokudaime Hokage would not live through the night. And perhaps he knew it too.

At the moment, twenty people stood in the room. Two were his children, six were grandchildren, and a dozen great-grandchildren clustered around him. Despite the age range – anywhere from two to seventy two – everyone was silent. Some of the younger kids sat on his bed, holding his hand or stroking the hair off his wizened and whiskered face. Others stood with their parents, keeping a respectful distance. They would miss their Grandpa terribly, and wanted to make sure that he didn't feel alone tonight. The Shichidaime and Hachidaime had already paid their respects to the elderly man, and it was only the Uzumaki children that would be there to see their beloved patriarch pass.

He woke sometime around four in the morning. Blue eyes, once clear and pure as the daytime sky, were half-blinded with cataracts and pain. He looked around, saying nothing but taking in the sight of so many faces. They were all familiar, but the poison had wrecked havoc on his mind. He gazed at one child on the bed – dark blue hair in braids, white eyes wide and worried – and smiled. "Hinata."

The little girl smiled back, carefully taking one of his hands. "No Grandpa, Gramma's not here right now."

He nodded. "Ah, right. Out gardening, perhaps?"

"In heaven."

Again he nodded, though her words didn't penetrate the haze. "Well, tell her when she comes in that I could use a good massage. My old bones are getting ache-y." He chuckled. "Don't tell anyone I said that, okay?"

"Okay."

He looked from the children to the adults. "Good morning, kids. What's everyone doing here?"

"Good morning, Father," his daughter, an old woman herself, said. "We've come to visit, just to say… hello. How are you tonight?"

"Tired. Very tired. Where's your mother?"

"She's not here right now, Dad," his son said. "You should rest."

"Well, when I'm gone, be sure to take good care of her. Promise me."

Tears began falling. Blue and white eyes rained grief. "Promise."

"And be good shinobi."

"We promise."

"And take care of each other. And the village."

"Just like you did."

"Yeah, just like me," he said, almost in awe of himself. "You know… I had the most vivid dream just now."

"Really? Tell us."

For the first time in years, his eyes were blue again. "I was young again. I remember so many things… it was wonderful. I saw my friends, your mother, everyone that went before me. We ran through the woods outside of Konoha. Not on a mission, not in danger, but just running with each other." Tears slid down his cheeks, and one blond-haired boy dabbed the falling drops away with a shirt sleeve. "We were alive. We were well; it was a feeling I've not had for a long time."

When he finished, they all sat there in silence. It wasn't the same as the silence he had with his friends; this was torture, filled with the sound of hearts breaking and tears falling. Many continued to freely cry, remembering departed aunts and uncles.

Finally, his son spoke. "Dad… you should go back to sleep. Dream again. Go out and run."

The old man smiled wearily. "Yes… go out and run. I'd like that…."

He closed his eyes one last time.

**I'm ninety nine for a moment**

**Dying for just another moment**

**And I'm just dreaming**

**Counting the ways to where you are**

The first thing he saw when he opened them were his friends. His closest friends waiting, smiling, looking at him with confidence and trust as if he'd never been away from them. As if _they'd_ never left. He was their leader, and they would always follow him.

So he got up from the unyielding ground and led them on a final journey. They kept running; never stopping, never tiring. This time, they weren't just going around the forest.

This time, they were spiraling up from the bottom to the top of the trees.

He wasn't the fastest by any means, but he'd be damned if he wouldn't be the first to reach the top. If he had been thinking suspiciously, he would have guessed that a few of the quicker shinobi were probably going to _let_ him win, but he didn't care. He would finally see the sky.

He felt time slide away from him; eighty to sixty to thirty to fifteen as he ran and jumped and strained his body to the limit. When he could see the barest tips of the trees in sight – _oh god we're so close; the world is just above those trees_ – he looked back. Everyone was behind him, knowing what waited beyond the trees. But they wanted him to lead them up.

He reached back and Hinata took his hand. He didn't want to do this alone; not because he was afraid, but because he wanted to share this perfect moment with her.

They were running as fast as light when they broke through to the top.

And then they were flying, with immense wings of whiteness bursting from their backs.

He could feel again; there was a wind on his face, brushing the sensitive whiskers on his cheeks. He could see colors now; the dawn was barely breaking from the east, painting the earth with light and life. He could hear now; the voices that never spoke to him during that nighttime flight now sung with joy and excitement.

Hinata's hand felt so solid now. He hadn't realized how cold and ethereal it had been before, but now it was warm. He turned and looked into her eyes, white and real as sunlight, and knew that he was alive too.

"I missed you. I've missed everyone. Sorry I kept you waiting."

"I've missed you too." Her voice, always so soft, was a bell tone in his ears. "I'm sorry I had to go. I wish I could have stayed with you longer… but I don't regret what I did."

"I don't either."

"… I love you."

"I love you too."

He didn't let the silence stand between them for long. He slowed down until they were all flying evenly, all twelve of them only a wingspan away. He told everyone what had happened while they were gone, and how much Konoha had changed thanks to their lives and efforts. He talked and talked, wanting his voice to fill the whole sky.

And when he finished, he turned in the direction of the sunrise, and saw with a bit of surprise that the sun had almost completely risen. A new day was dawning for the world he was flying away from. He looked down at Konoha Village as they winged over it and smiled a proud, paternal smile.

Hinata squeezed his hand as Sasuke took the other. "Let's go home."

**Fifteen there's till time for you**

**Twenty two I feel her too**

**Thirty three you're on you're way**

**Every day's a new day**

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Did you see that just now? Something in the sky?"

The man looked up, his body tensing in anticipation of an attack. "What was it? Sound nin?"

"No, nothing like that. It just… nah, it's nothing."

This time, the man raised a dark blue eyebrow. "Did you see anything?"

His son, a youth of impressionable fifteen, blushed. "Er, no, I don't think so. Sorry. Musta been the sun against the clouds or something."

The father said nothing else, turning back to the eulogy being given. But the young man – with eyes of the daytime sky and hair of the nighttime heavens – looked up again, smiling to himself as he watched the angels disappear into the sun.

**Fifteen there's still time for you**

**Time to buy and time to choose**

**Fifteen there's never a wish better than this**

**When you've only got a hundred years to live**

Author's Notes: _Pennatus_ _somnium_ is Latin for 'winged dream'.


End file.
